I thought I’d include this definition because it seems that the meaning is no longer being instilled by parents or schools. The concept of the social contract is dying a slow and painful death.
Recently, I drove downtown to attend a meeting in a high-rise office building. I had to park in a high-rise parking garage, one of those with a narrow inlet, a ticket dispenser, a manned booth and a gate across the lane. As I pulled up, I immediately noticed that there seemed to be a line and it didn’t seem to be moving. There were four or five cars between me and the vehicle at the gate. After a few moments, nothing happened. The car at the gate was not proceeding in an orderly manner. I continued waiting patiently.
After a few more minutes, my patience began to fade. The car still had not moved. More cars had lined up behind me. In fact, the line behind me had grown until it began to clog the intersection. Still I waited. The car still didn’t move. I couldn’t see the person in the car, couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman, but I could see that the person in the booth was engaged in conversation with the driver. Still I waited.
At this point, my attitude began to tip toward impatience. The traffic blockage continued to expand. Cars wishing to enter the garage from the opposite side of the street via a left turn had also begun to accumulate. They were now interfering with traffic flow in the other direction and clogging another intersection. By now, the traffic snarl was actually preventing vehicles from exiting the garage.
And still we all waited.
It was a full eight minutes—a full eight minutes after I became irritated enough to start timing him or her—before the driver finally put their car in gear and passed through the gate, opening up the way for all the rest of us. By this time I was livid. I parked, entered the office building and immediately sought out a restroom. I needed to spend several more minutes counting to one thousand and ten before I could regain my composure. It was the only way to be sure that one inconsiderate fool didn’t spoil the presentation I was there to give.
That person should not be allowed to roam freely.
It is my general experience in such instances that the chances are good that the driver was blissfully unaware of the chaos caused by their thoughtlessness. That is usually the case. But more and more often these days, it seems that the obstructor is aware and just doesn’t care. The new theme seems to be that as long as my convenience is being served, it doesn’t matter how many others are inconvenienced. I once saw a driver bring three lanes of traffic to a complete halt because he was in the left lane and wanted to be in the right lane. Apparently, circling the block is a technique no longer taught in driver’s ed. Or, more likely, the driver just couldn’t be bothered, because it was easier to make everyone else stop and wait until he got what he wanted.
But back to the parking garage and the inconsiderate person there. No doubt their problem, whatever it was, was important to them. It may even have been a dire emergency. But was it so important that several downtown blocks needed to be brought to a halt until their need was met? Somehow I doubt it.
Back a thousand years ago when I was growing up, mothers generally taught their children that obstructing the progress of others was bad manners, like belching or passing gas—something to be avoided when possible and apologized for when not. This lesson seems to have been lost to the ages.
So I’ll just offer some general advice. If someone behind you in a line somewhere seems to be growing impatient or irritated, ask yourself: Am I in their way? Do I need to be? Might that person be armed? And if you’re in the same boat they are, try to catch their eye. Find some nonverbal way of sharing the frustration of your mutual plight. That might keep both of you from resorting to violence.
And to all those oblivious impediments out there, I’ll just say this. One day, one single red blood cell out of the trillions in your bloodstream will find some need to stop in the center of one of your capillaries and serve some selfish purpose of its own without regard to the entire circulatory system stacking up behind it. So when a massive stroke lays you to waste, just remember: Your convenience need not be considered.