It’s an old story: One man defends another against claims of sexual harassment, because the accused is known by him to be a “good person”. The clear message is that since a good person would never do such a thing, this man must be innocent.
It never seems to occur to the apologist that a person actually prone to such behavior might rely on that denial and cynically wield his “good person” reputation as a protective shield. With it, he is free to abuse at will as long as he’s careful.
And trust me, he is careful.
There are a number of lessons that women learn early in life, usually the hard way, and one of them is the various forms of the two-faced man.
One type can be cruelly misogynistic when in the company of other men, making a purposeful show of his disdain for women. Such men can be surprisingly gentle when alone with a woman, even submissive to an extreme degree. His public abuse of women is meant to distract other men from detecting his own deep-seated need of them.
Another type is the “good guy”, the one who smiles and shakes hands, who does charitable works and toils away at community service. All the guys like him. In mixed company, his gallantry toward women is beyond reproach. Behind closed doors, though, and with no male eyes to witness, his behavior with a woman turns beastly. He not only revels in the atrocities he can heap on her without consequence, he delights in the refusal of other men to believe any complaint she might dare to make. It simply can’t be. He’s a good guy.
Of course, there are lots of men that like women and treat them decently. There are even men who love women and consider them fully human. We can rely on those men to speak up, to step in, to seek justice for all. We’re not talking about those men. We’re talking about the men who hate or fear women, or both. We’re talking about the men who need women, even just as a punching bag, but detest their own need.
No man, regardless of his stature, should have an assault accusation against him dismissed based solely on the regard of his fellow man, regardless of his stature.
It is not possible for anyone to know what any given man is capable of when he shuts a door and turns toward a lone woman.