Working with my fellow Toastmasters, we regularly discuss the topic of fear. Fear of public speaking is the obvious place we start, but we soon expand that idea into the larger subject of the comfort zone and the need to face fears in order to grow. That challenge to face down one’s fears in the larger sense is at the center of our leadership training and at the heart of our best mentoring efforts.
Fear isn’t hard to manage when it comes to fellow human beings. You can empathize. You can moderate. You can make helpful suggestions, share the experiences of others, or help set up systematic desensitization. Fear is the mind-killer, said Paul Maud’Dib, then demonstrated how will meets fear and vanquishes it. Words alone, when well chosen, can empower another to step out on faith and dare to let the fear wash over them.
Fear management becomes somewhat trickier, though, with dogs. Dogs, bless their hearts, are little bundles of fears. It is possible to manage a dog’s fears, but you have to overcome two challenges. First, you have to grasp the exact nature of the fear; and second, you have to establish enough trust and affection to convince the dog to face down that fear. That’s a big order for a dog.
My previous golden retriever was completely unnerved by thunderstorms and fireworks, but she adored rides in the car. It took us a few years to find a solution to her storm fear, but we got there. My new blue heeler seemed totally unfazed by his first thunderstorm, but cowers in terror when confronted with an open car door.
We’ll spend some time trying to break down that fear if we can. Ideally, I’d really like him to be a go-along dog. But in the end I’m already in love and he’s my forever dog, go-along or not. If we can get past this fear we’ll have one kind of relationship; if not, we’ll have another.
I’m off to practice my dog whispering.